Follow the Plot Bunny, Round 'n Down
by Mysteriousity1
Summary: Ok, one-shots, ideas I might make into more, basically multiple crossovers of different things :3 T for paranoia yay! XD Oh and I'm not sure if it should be rated that because of the cursing? M or T since she IS rather angry, you the reader decide!


001: Goblin Queen-wait, Earl?!

Summary: Labyrinth and Kuroshitsuji crossover- Ciel somehow found himself in the hands of the Goblin King, dressed like he had been during that Vicount Druitt's party, and having to save Tsukiko. Without Sebastian.

A/N: PURELY FOR MY AMUSEMENT, I only saw Labyrinth once so forgive me ok?

_This was absolutely ridiculous._ The Earl of Phantomhive thought crossly. He just couldn't understand how he had ended up in that stupid dress, he shuddered, and having to save that utterly useless detective, in order to save himself. Where IS Sebastian? He huffed inwardly. He wandered through the maze, lost beyond recognition. Plus, the damn thing itched. Joy.

Tsukiko screamed, "IDIOT! YOU AREN'T EVEN A PROPER GUARD DOG IF YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR PAWNS!" She whirled around to face the highly-amused Goblin King. "And YOU!" she screeched, eyes turning red, a look of slight worry coming into the leather-wearing man's eyes. "YOU-YOU-you DAMN BASTARD! HE SAID NOTHING ABOUT GETTING RID OF ME SO GO FIND THAT ACTUAL GIRL WITH THE BABY, CREEP!" she flew at him, preparing to claw him to bits. Until he stepped aside and the goblins all tackled the thrashing girl who was spitting curses that were highly improper coming from a thirteen-year-old. The King chuckled, "This is so much more fun though!"

"PEDOPHILE MOTHERF*CKER!" she spat, glaring murderously at him from where the goblins had somehow managed to restrain her using rusty metal cuffs and lots of rope. All the goblins laughed rowdily, loud and obnoxious as their King did the hall practically laughing with them.

"Now, where do I go next?" he muttered sullenly, bored as usual. A familiar voice could be heard screaming profanities._ Must be getting closer, although I don't know how_. He sighed to himself. He scratched furiously at his front. Suddenly, an annoying and ugly goblin appeared near him. The thing began jabbering at him, and as he was already highly annoyed, he pushed past it, restraining himself from kicking it. "HEY!" it squealed, tripping and falling on his? big nose. Had to be a he, too ugly to be a girl. He thought as he watched the thing bounce around angrily, screaming something insulting he was sure. He merely turned around and began walking again, muttering darkly. "WAIT A SECOND MISS-er, sir!" the goblin finished meekly, shrinking at the dangerous glare he was getting from Ciel. He crept backwards nervously, gulping, "Well, I-I gotta go! Bye!" He scampered off as fast as his chubby legs could carry him. Ciel snorted in disgust. He HAD smelled horrible...

Tsukiko was groaning as she banged her head continuously against the chair. The king grew weary of the girl's madness and decided to sing his favorite song. He began singing "Dance Magic". Tsukiko cried pleadingly, "LORD save me from these imbeciles who can't sing!" The music shrieked to a halt. Dead silence permeated through the room. "I can't sing? Let's see you beat me, girly!"

Tsukiko smiled inwardly but said boredly, "Fine. But it's a rap battle ok? Whoever can't think of something new first loses. Insults only."

The Goblin king smirked nodding for his subjects to release her. She stood and stretched, snapping for a beat. She got one quickly from Goblin feet pounding and paws clapping. She shook out her hair and a ferocious grin spread across her features. "I win, you release me. You win, I stay put until the end of this silly game."

The king gritted his teeth and stuck out his chin proudly, an arrogant 'yes'.

"You think your so cool

In those leather jeans, aren't you a fool?

Son, your hair's a mess,

What's a boy wearing make-up for, you need help, buy a dress!

Are you gay or just a bad actor,

Cause I swear pedophiles don't do so bad as you, with your creepy grin, and ugly face, brother get a life, bad eighties suits you,

your outta your league, so step back and pout in that over-grown toddler's seat!"

(I know, I can't rap! XD One more, I promise!)

"You think your awesome

Babe, that's a wrong assumption

Please, you think you can rap like me

I got tricks out the wazoo, magic up my sleeve

Dance baby, you know you wanna

Goblin king gonna set you in your place

Innocence isn't my game

Be prepared to scream my name,

Cause I'm taking you and wiping you cross the floor

You're a disgrace,

to the human race

Baby, pale cheeks and skinny limbs just don't cut it

Live and let live I say,

But this time, hell's gonna make you pay!"

She scowled, back in her seat and tied up. Too bad I can't rap. She thought sourly. _Stupid! Why'd you do that? A small voice, snarky, replied, 'Because he sang badly, eighties music too, you thought rap was too modern for him to do well!' Shut up._


End file.
